Why I Finally Said Yes to Medication-Assisted Treatment

I didn’t plan on relapsing.
When I walked out of treatment the first time, I had 90 days of sobriety, a tight grip on my routine, a sponsor I actually liked, and for the first time in years—hope. I had done the steps. I was doing the work. I was “one of the good ones,” right?

Then I wasn’t.

The relapse didn’t come like a hurricane. It came like a whisper. Just one slip. A bad week. A moment of self-pity that turned into a pattern before I even knew what I was in.

The shame hit harder than the substance ever could.

I Thought I Was Past This—But I Was Just Tired

If you’ve ever relapsed after a few solid months, you know the particular kind of heartbreak it brings. It’s not just the fear of starting over—it’s the weight of believing that maybe you never really changed. That maybe all those days clean, all that therapy, all that effort was a fluke.

That’s where I was when someone first mentioned Medication-Assisted Treatment (MAT) again. I’d heard of it in treatment but tuned it out. I thought it was for “hard cases.” I didn’t think I was one of them. (Spoiler: I was.)

Back then, I was too proud to accept help in a new form. But this time? I was too exhausted to keep fighting the same battle with the same weapons.

Relapse Showed Me What White-Knuckling Hid

I used to be proud of saying I “did it without meds.” But the truth? I was just enduring sobriety—not living in recovery.

I had cravings. I had emotional swings. I had nights I couldn’t sleep and mornings I didn’t want to get up. But I was checking all the boxes, so I told myself that meant I was fine.

My relapse wasn’t a failure. It was a flashlight—pointing out what I hadn’t built yet.

This time around, I needed more than willpower. I needed something steadier to hold onto. That’s what MAT gave me.

What It Meant to Say Yes (This Time)

Choosing MAT didn’t feel brave. It felt like defeat. I cried on the way to my first appointment—not because I didn’t want help, but because I felt like I’d finally admitted I couldn’t “beat” this on my own.

I had so much internal stigma wrapped around the idea of taking medication. Somewhere along the way, I absorbed the message that MAT was a crutch. That it didn’t count. That real recovery was raw and full of suffering.

But that belief wasn’t helping me heal. It was keeping me sick.

And someone I trust said to me:
“It’s not a crutch—it’s a cast. You don’t shame someone for putting their leg in a cast while it heals. Why would you shame yourself for needing support while your brain stabilizes?”

That line cracked something open in me.

What Medication-Assisted Treatment Actually Looks Like

No, MAT didn’t “fix” me. But it made recovery doable.

It helped reduce the intensity of cravings that used to hijack my whole day. It gave me enough mental clarity to actually sit through therapy instead of faking my way through it. It helped me pause—and that pause saved me more times than I can count.

My care team at GBAC in Boston treated me like a whole person, not just a relapse. We started with a conversation, not a prescription. They asked about my history, my fears, my goals. We worked together to find the right approach—and adjusted things along the way.

If you’re looking for Medication-Assisted Treatment in Boston or Needham, I can say firsthand: the way GBAC does MAT is grounded, thoughtful, and never one-size-fits-all.

I Stopped Measuring My Worth by How I Recovered

One of the biggest lies I believed? That if I needed medication, I was less sober than someone who didn’t.

But the more people I talked to—people with years of stable recovery—the more I learned that there’s no bonus prize for doing it “the hard way.” There’s just pain. And healing. And what works.

MAT gave me room to do the real work—not just stay dry, but start living again. To rebuild trust, routines, friendships, and even my sense of self.

Saying yes to MAT wasn’t the end of my pride. It was the start of my peace.

I Wish Someone Had Told Me This Sooner

Here’s what I’d say to anyone who’s recently relapsed and is considering MAT:

You’re not starting over. You’re continuing—just with more information.

Your relapse didn’t wipe out your growth. It revealed your needs.

Your story isn’t broken. It’s just unfinished.

FAQs About Medication-Assisted Treatment (MAT)

What is Medication-Assisted Treatment?
MAT is a treatment approach that combines FDA-approved medications with counseling and behavioral therapy. It’s commonly used for opioid and alcohol use disorders to reduce cravings and support long-term recovery.

Is MAT just replacing one drug with another?
No. That’s a common myth. MAT medications are prescribed at therapeutic doses, under medical supervision, and help stabilize the brain—not create a new addiction. It’s more like insulin for diabetes—supporting your body while you heal.

Will I be on MAT forever?
Not necessarily. Treatment length varies from person to person. Some use MAT short-term to manage early recovery, while others benefit from longer-term support. It’s about what helps you stay healthy and grounded.

Is MAT covered by insurance?
Most major insurance providers, including MassHealth, cover MAT services. At Greater Boston Addiction Centers, the admissions team can walk you through your benefits and help with any paperwork.

What if I tried MAT before and it didn’t work?
You’re allowed to try again. Maybe the dose wasn’t right. Maybe the timing wasn’t. Maybe you didn’t have enough emotional support. Trying again doesn’t mean it failed—it means you’re still in this, and still worthy of care.

Can I still do therapy and groups while on MAT?
Absolutely. In fact, therapy and community support are a key part of what makes MAT effective. MAT helps reduce the noise so you can actually hear yourself in group and use the tools therapy offers.

Where can I find MAT services near me?
If you’re local to Massachusetts and searching for quality Medication-Assisted Treatment in Dedham or surrounding towns, Greater Boston Addiction Centers offers personalized, nonjudgmental support.

I’m Not Where I Thought I’d Be—But I’m Still Here

Recovery didn’t look the way I imagined. It wasn’t clean or linear or picture-perfect.

But today, I’m not hiding. I’m not white-knuckling. I’m not cycling in and out of shame.

I’m present. I’m building something steady. I’m learning to trust myself again.

And for me, Medication-Assisted Treatment was the turning point.

You deserve a recovery that works for you.

Call (877) 920-6583 or visit Greater Boston Addiction Centers’ Medication-Assisted Treatment Program to find support in Boston, MA. MAT isn’t the easy way out—it’s the real way through.